


Kid Fears

by heyjupiter



Series: No Direction Home [2]
Category: X-Men (Movies)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-22
Updated: 2011-11-22
Packaged: 2017-10-26 10:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/282171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyjupiter/pseuds/heyjupiter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a brush with Jason Stryker at Alkali Lake, Logan has trouble telling the difference between what's real and what's not. Remy helps him as best he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kid Fears

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the "hallucination" square on my hurt/comfort bingo card.
> 
> Also, this is set after [No Direction Home](http://archiveofourown.org/works/292919). If you haven't read that, you can just take my word that there's a perfectly good reason Remy's around for this adventure, which is set after the end of X1.
> 
> The title is an Indigo Girls song.

"Logan? Logan, you hear me? Hey, listen, everything's all right."

Logan made a keening, animalistic sound. Remy stroked Logan's hair, carefully. At least Logan had stopped screaming and fighting long enough for Remy to awkwardly maneuver him onto the back of Remy's bike so they could get the hell out of Alkali Lake. It hadn't been easy, given Logan's nonresponsiveness and his sheer weight. Remy had taken them to the first place he could find, a Super 8 on the highway outside the nearest town.

The clerk had raised an eyebrow when two men dressed in black leather had requested a room, but their cash was good and they were awarded two plastic keycards for room 115. Remy was sure the clerk was making some extremely interesting assumptions about them, though probably nothing as weird as the truth.

Room 115 was a standard-issue cheap motel room, with two double beds with hideous floral bedspreads, a framed print of a sunset, and a TV. Remy had guided Logan onto one of the beds, where he lay curled up in the fetal position. "All right, mon coeur, just... just try to get some sleep now," Remy said reassuringly. "We're safe now, we're just fine."

He kept a wary eye on Logan while he dialed the mansion. Remy told Xavier that they'd started poking around at Alkali Lake and hadn't found much of anything, but that Logan had... started seeing things that weren't there.

"What kinds of things?" Xavier asked crisply.

"Not sure, Professor," Remy said. "Whatever it is, he ain't too happy about it." He paused. "I saw something too, or I felt it, I don't know. Felt... scared. But it... it faded real quick, for me. I'm kind of... kind of confused 'bout what it was I actually saw."

Xavier let out a long breath. "Jason," he said.

"Who?" Remy asked.

"An... an old student of mine," Xavier said. He paused, then admitted, "William Stryker's son."

"That man has _kids_?" Remy asked.

"He has one son, yes," Xavier replied. "He came to my school... many years ago. Before you arrived. He can... he can cause hallucinations. Often... painful, unpleasant ones. I expect your kinetic energy shield would have given you some protection from his... gifts. But where are you now? Are you safe?"

"We're in the closest town to Alkali Lake. Williams Lake. At a motel. Logan's... sleepin'. Kinda." Remy watched Logan, who looked exhausted. He was still lying in the fetal position, shivering and murmuring to himself.

"Well, I imagine the effects of Jason's attack will wear off soon. It's possible... given the... fragmented nature of Logan's memories... it's possible they will linger longer than they might have otherwise. Just be careful, Remy, and try to keep him from hurting himself. Or you. Give him time, and rest. And please, stay in touch. If he does not recover by tomorrow, Jean or I will come out to assist. For now, I think you should stay with him, try to keep him calm. He should return to his senses soon."

Remy bit his tongue. He wanted to tell Xavier that it would have been fucking nice to know about this kid Jason _before_ they casually strolled over to Alkali Lake, but he decided that his time would be better spent keeping Logan from losing his mind. He can have words with Xavier after they get back to New York.

"All right, Professor, I'll keep you posted. Au revoir." He hung up the phone before Xavier could reply. Then he pulled the comforter off the empty motel bed and wrapped Logan in it. "Shh, cher, you're all right."

Logan gave a small whimper that sent shivers down Remy's spine. Remy lay down behind Logan, carefully embracing him. Remy had seen Logan after his nightmares before, but this felt different. Logan often awoke angry or disoriented, but rarely _afraid_. Remy wondered what it was Logan was seeing that scared him so bad.

Remy couldn't clearly remember anything he had seen at Alkali Lake, but he had been left with the unsettling feeling of being a child again, small and alone and frightened. Logan's own childhood memories were lost to him, but from what Xavier said, maybe Jason could access them somehow? Remy gently stroked Logan's arm and did what he did best: he talked.

In a slow, soothing murmur, Remy told Logan all kinds of things. "Hey, Logan, you're just fine," he said. "Just got a little brainwashed or something. Happens to all of us. Well, you know, guess it don't really ever happen to most people, but what can you do. Professor says you're gonna be fine. Whatever you're seein' right now, it ain't real. Only thing real is me and you and this crappy motel room, all right?"

Still shivering, Logan asked, "Victor?"

Remy's long fingers stilled for a moment. "No, Logan," he said. "Victor ain't here. It's me, Remy."

"Victor, I'm sorry," Logan whispered.

"Hey, cher, can't imagine what the hell you'd have to apologize to Victor for."

"I had to leave. I had to."

Remy sighed. Logan was always leaving, it seemed. "Well, Logan, you ain't goin' anywhere right now, d'accord? Just gonna stay right here with Remy and get some rest."

"Please," Logan said. "Please." Remy squeezed his lover tighter and made no reply for a moment. Logan continued, "I'm so tired of this, Victor."

"Why don't you just sleep then, Logan? Just get some sleep."

"Here? Is it safe?"

"It sure is," Remy assured him. "You're safe."

"Thanks. You're a good brother," Logan murmured. Before long, Remy felt Logan's breathing grow deep and even. Remy held his sleeping lover and pondered what he'd just heard. Were Logan and Victor Creed really brothers? He supposed it might make sense. They had the same mutation, after all. Remy dredged his memories, trying to recall what Victor had looked like fifteen years ago, before all the experiments had changed him into something more animal than human. There could maybe be a family resemblance there. Damn, and Remy had thought his family was messed up.

He lay quietly with Logan for hours. Remy was bored, but he didn't want to move and wake up Logan. He thought it would be best if Logan could just sleep off these hallucinations, or memories, or whatever the fuck was happening. So he resisted a hundred restless urges. He didn't turn on the TV, he didn't deal out solitaire, and he didn't get up to piss. He just lay on the uncomfortable bed and hoped Logan would wake up soon. _Finally_ , Logan stirred. He twisted around in Remy's arms and turned to face him.

"Mornin', sunshine," Remy said.

Logan blinked. "Is it really morning? What the fuck happened?"

That sounded like the Logan Remy knew and loved. "Nah, cher, ain't morning." He nodded at the digital clock on the bedside table. "Nine twenty-two pm. Anyway, we made it to Alkali Lake this morning, but all we found was some kid who could mess with our heads."

Logan looked around. "Looks different than I thought it would." He was still wrapped in the ugly motel comforter, and he shrugged it off.

"Yup," Remy said. "Nobody'd expect Stryker's secret lab to be in a Super 8 with free continental breakfast." Logan's eyebrows crinkled in confusion, and Remy grinned. "Kidding, Logan. We're a few miles south a Alkali now, in a motel."

"How'd we get here?"

"Brought you here on the back of my bike. Yours, and by yours I mean Cyke's, is still at the base. You, uh, you wasn't really fit to drive."

"Shit. Uh, thanks, Remy."

"Course."

"Did I really--no--I don't..." Logan said, trailing off without really saying anything.

"Xavier said this kid Jason can make people see shit that ain't there. I--I don't really remember what I saw, but, uh, I think maybe it was somethin' from when I was a kid."

"I don't remember anything from when I was a kid."

"Yeah, I know." Remy wondered whether he should tell Logan the things he said when he was out of it. He decided to wait until he's had a chance to talk to Xavier. Who knows? Maybe Jason doesn't pull up memories. Maybe just fears. No point telling Logan something that's maybe just nonsense.

"Anyway, Logan, you all right?"

Logan stretched and shrugged and nodded.

"All right, mon coeur, I'm going to call Xavier then, just tell him you're back among the waking. He threatened to come out here and poke around your head if you didn't snap out of it soon."

"Just what I need," Logan said. "More messed up shit in my head."

"Hey, cher, there's plenty of people would pay good money to forget their childhoods," Remy said lightly.

Logan let out a little laugh. He stood up and paced the room while Remy made a quick call back to New York. Xavier asked if he should send the jet out to get them or if they were feeling up to returning by motorcycle. Remy paused a half second before replying, "Nah, we're fine, thanks."

Xavier said, "All right, Remy. Take care, and call if you need anything." Remy knew Xavier didn't really get why they'd make a cross-country motorcycle trip when he'd offered the use of the jet. The trip had taken four and a half days by bike and it would have been an afternoon's flight. But then they would have missed out on the pleasant monotony of speeding through the plains, of the sweet challenge of twisting through the mountainous roads of the West. They would have missed four--no, eight--nights of hotel sex.

Remy hung up the phone and watched Logan pace.

"How come Xavier didn't warn us about this guy Jason?" Logan asked.

Remy shrugged. "He seemed real surprised when I told him about it. Like, he knew the kid, but I got the feelin' Xavier hadn't thought about him in years."

"Do you get the feeling that Xavier knows a lot of shit that he ain't telling us?"

"Only because it's true."

"Why do you stick around with him?"

Remy shrugged. "He's a good guy, Logan. I guess, overall, I trust him to tell us the stuff we need to know. He might miss something every once in a while, but who doesn't?"

"Mm." Logan grunted noncommittally. Remy knew he still wasn't totally sold on the X-Men thing, but he figured Logan would come around eventually. What was the alternative?

Remy looked around the room and spotted a battered cardboard ad for Pizza Hut on the bedside table. "You hungry, mon ami?" Remy asked.

"Could eat," Logan said.

Remy grinned, assuming it to be an understatement. Remy himself was starving. He picked up the cardboard triangle and ordered two large Meat Lover's pizzas and extra hot pepper flakes. Logan sat down on the bed next to him and fidgeted with the sleeves of his leather jumpsuit. After Remy hung up the phone, Logan asked, "You didn't happen to grab my saddlebag off Cyke's bike, did you?"

Remy laughed. "Sorry, cher, I was a little bit busy trying to keep you from hurting yourself. It's still back at Alkali. I can go back for it, after the pizza comes. Can't expect me to do a job like that on an empty stomach."

Logan twisted his mouth. "Hey, Remy, I didn't... hurt you, did I?"  
"Me? You think you could take me in a fight?" Remy teased. "Nah, I'm just fine."

Logan nodded. "Good. I'll go back with you. After the pizza."

"Ah... don't know if that's the best idea, Logan."

"Well, how are you gonna get both bikes back here? Or do you want me to ride bitch all the way back to New York?"

"Don't bother me none, cher," Remy replied with a smirk. "But I do see your point. Well... we'll figure something out. After the pizza."

Logan nodded gravely. "After the pizza."

The pizzas arrive impressively quickly. Before eating, they both shucked out of their leather jumpsuits. Lounging in their boxers, they devoured their dinner at an even more impressive speed.

Remy licked the grease off his fingers in a way he liked to think of as being casually seductive. Logan shook his head. "C'mon, Remy, let's go back for that bike now."

Remy sighed. "It'll still be there a few hours from now."

"Quit pouting, Cajun."

"Fine, fine, we'll go back for the bike."

Remy slowly pulled his suit back on while Logan did likewise. Out in the parking lot, Logan grudgingly hopped on Remy's bike behind him. The bike handled much differently with both their weights on it, and Remy really hoped that nothing had happened to Scott's bike. Not only would they have to deal with Scott's sniping, but they'd also be in for a long trip back on one bike. Although Remy had to admit that he did enjoy feeling Logan's warm body at his back. It'd be nice on some of the chilly mountain roads, he thought.

Once they approached the turnoff for Alkali Lake, Remy killed the bike's lights and engine. He paused a moment to let his eyes adjust to the darkness, and then he and Logan hopped off the bike. Remy debated the merits of hiding it or leaving it available for a quick exit if necessary. He opted for the latter, and wheeled the bike around, leaving it carefully parked on the gravel road. Then he and Logan set off on foot to where they'd hidden Scott's bike earlier that day.

Remy felt edgy, though nighttime breaking & entering was his forte. He moved quickly and silently, staying ahead of Logan. He didn't want Logan to have to get any closer to the base than necessary. Remy wasn't looking forward to another dose of brainwashing himself, but he knew he could get past it. He strengthened his mental shields the way Xavier had taught him. He wasn't sure if the vengeful telepath was asleep right now, or if his shields were working, or if he'd just gotten lucky, but he made it to Scott's bike without any interference. He put it in neutral and carefully pushed it free from its hiding place. Logan caught up with him--he was heavier, and to be silent he had to walk slower and with more determination than Remy needed. He looked relieved, and he took the bike from Remy. They made it back up to the turnoff uneventfully. Remy started up his bike and peeled out of there, feeling like a kid getting away with something.

Back at the Super 8, they brought their saddlebags into their room. Remy let out a relieved laugh. "That was easy," he said.

Logan's eyes looked dark, haunted. But he said, "Yeah."

Remy hesitated. He almost asked Logan if he thought maybe they should go back to Alkali Lake and see what, or who, was there. It had looked abandoned, but they hadn't gotten to explore it too deeply. But Remy didn't want to return without talking to Xavier. Maybe if Jean would go there with them, they'd have more of a fighting chance against the hallucinations. For now, though, he decided he didn't want to talk about it. He quietly unzipped his leathers and smiled as Logan did the same.

Remy sat next to Logan. He tipped his face and went for a kiss. Logan returned it hungrily, tangling a hand in Remy's long hair. The two men greedily tasted and touched each other's bodies, seeking the physical connection to each other, to the real world.

After they fucked, they lay twined together on the lumpy motel mattress. Running a hand up and down Remy's back, Logan whispered, "This is real, ain't it?"

"It's the only real thing, far as I'm concerned," Remy replied.


End file.
